Since my last entry I made a committee I was hopin and praying to be on because it is a committee focused on Justice, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion.  Like the blog I want to have a voice for those that may still be reluctant to come out as part of the LGBTQ++++ Community. Our first meeting is on Dec 4th, 2023 and I can't wait to be on the ground floor to help build an outlet for those that may feel left because they didn't have someone to reach out and help them.  I was one of those people who struggled and to some still struggle with my identity.  One example is becoming a member of a local church.  One of the questions is to give a breif bio of who you are, well...Let's just I hit a dilema, how do I tell people that I am actually a male when they have only seen as female (and a rather convincing one at that apparently).  So I sat down with the pastor whom I have know for many years from another church where she was an associate pastor and we had a good conversation.  The topic was about me being honest with the congregation of the church, how I do tell them who I really am because I felt like I was lying and so we discussed it at length and decided that no I was not lying because I was being myself, my true self.  

Kind of ironic that I am worried about lying when I dress in women's clothing because it is part of who I am so is being a guy.  Because on the one hand I have been told that I do not look like me when I do wear my wigs and make up, my manners and posture are different so is my personality.  What happens when I do go back to my default setting as a guy?  The answer is never an easy one but Rev R assured me that the congregation wants to love me and help me grow Spritually so they will be a little more flexible and understanding compared to what I am used to from precvious churches.  I do have to say that I find it entertaing that the ladies of the church comment on my clothing choices in a positive manner, "I can't wait to see what you wear next," or " you have the cutest/prettiest clothes," or other closely related phrases.  Even as I was leaving some of the church staff commented that I wasn't wearing heels, LOL...It's not how we dress but how we believe, how we worship.  I could go to church in a jeans and a t-shirt and get the same message as I would in a dress and heels or a man's suit.  However, I was raised you always dress up for church, you're Sunday best.  Not so much anymore but I will still do so because I do love wearing my skirts, blouses and heels and feeling accepted in the house of the Lord where the message is love and not being down cast as a sinner under hellfire and brimstone.  

As my journey continues I will try to post more often - A diary or journal, mostly as Sarah.